In a pause – when lips stop and eyes talk
A space in the absence of clutters
Writer: Sama Adhami
Editor: Nika Nechaeva
Space matters. Space matters between everything you could think of right now. Wherever I look around, I see how a thoughtful absence or a pause in one thing gives it another form of completeness. Think about a hole in a doughnut, a pause in a laugher, a silence in a conversation or a small break between the fights.
But our urge to fill every single empty space, either in our head or in our life makes us feel seriously hectic, although we do nothing!
I’ve never thought so much about the negative and positive space in my life until I’ve got a big empty space to fill.
My new apartment looked naked to me. At first, I wanted to decorate it with as many furniture and plants as possible. “There have to be plants! There has to be a big white sofa! An armchair! A coffee table! A TV table! Oh, a big Persian rug! A luster for sure! Do I need to color the walls? Or maybe only one wall is enough? But what is enough?”
I had gone through hundreds of Pinterest pins over nights to visualize my designed space filled with stuff. oh! I need to buy a vintage style desk with drawers, a few storage boxes under my bed to make the most out of my empty spaces. I really seek a minimal lifestyle. I do.
But wait a minute. What about me? Where can I fit myself into this fully occupied space then? There are so many things that I feel burdened by already. That was the moment I felt a need in a bigger space, without knowing what is going to happen in a few days.
Time passed for me as quick as a blink of an eye and as slow as unpacking all boxes to realize this big place does not feel good. This was not exactly my space. I cant explain it. Something inside of me was calling for a change. I had a moment of pure honesty with myself. I rushed to take an action before signing any paper and myself to this place. And here we go! There was me laughing at myself, panicking, not knowing where to begin and how to pack everything all over again with a poring rain and a storm outside of my window (even the sky was screaming). Pause…
I packed 4 bags and sneaked out in the middle of the night like a criminal in another Agatha Christie detective novel. I had to look for a new place. My place.
It took me awhile to understand, that what I really needed was an empty space in my head to realize what is going on around me!
After tasting a nomad life for a few days in Vienna, I’ve changed my perspective towards «space». Eventually, I found a new place. Much smaller, but in the most Bobo (Bourgeois Bohemian) neighborhood of Vienna.
Sometimes, having a smaller space is giving you a new perspective on using your «head space» and space around you. I was not aware on how much I’ve ever needed that, so-to-speak, unoccupied tiny clutter-less space, which would bring a visual comfort and harmony into my life and to my windy subconscious mind.
This time, I will leave my place with as much negative spaces as possible, where an air could travel through each corner of it.
We go along with our life being completely absent in the same way as we go to the toilet with our smart phones or magazines, checking our feeds etc., when this specific spot was initially designed to get us some sort of vacancy – But we fill it anyways.
We always find some sort of a new business in our daily life to keep ourselves occupied and hectic to be an example of success to others.
Are we really busy or is life going busy around us?
We are constantly talking without a true communication. We are looking for an answer to be given to us in spoken words but not in silence or that short pause – when lips stop and eyes talk. I guess, all we need to do is just to embrace more empty spaces around us in order to feel less hectic but more present in our own space, in our moments, in our life.
